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Thursday, May 29, 2008
some relatives came out of msia to visit. so i had to go over to my aunt's house today. i had a very boring day actually, it involved playing pool with a minor, playing carrom(is that how you spell it?) without knowing all the rules, and stoning at the com cos someone didnt reply my IM till hours later -_- OH AND I MUST COMPLAIN! my pokemon crystal in my phone... painstakingly played for a few months (but a few hours in total)... just beat the pokemon league... with typhlosion weepinbell redgyarados suicune... all above level fifty... took the S.S. Aqua... arrived at kanto... about to begin another wonderful exhilarating journey... and my cousin... ... ... RESTARTED THE GAME AND SAVED IT. OH MY TIAN LAHHHH! >:( everytime i see her there is some sort of disaster. >:((((((( anyway soomi's finally online!!!!!!!!! i miss her so much lahhh )): thank god she's well!! but man, such a coincidence, she's gonna go to trinity next month, which is where ningmao is now!! ohman. fate!! our class rocks lah. ((: so cool! Wednesday, May 28, 2008 i feel emotionally great today! physically, hmm lets say im not at my best. to school in the morning; clean up twenty four :D it's nice to see tsd people (: im sorry i wasnt of much help though, i basically did all the things that were pretty useless :/ hehh but aye eh, at least i was there lah huh! ^^ kudos to sweejin arianto junfeng samantha zhanyi and yeowboonBROTHER! coolios! my mum made me come home cos we had to go to kk in the afternoon but it dragged till NIGHT! rahh. could have stayed longer in school to help and not feel so useless lah. but haha, i guess coming out early also meant i dont have to tolerate them teasing me about my skin colour -_- i thought the trip to kk would bring some unhappiness but it went well (: xaven is fine. and cute! :)) watching 偶像劇s indeedly never fails to cheer me up. yay mingzhongzhudingwoaini! :D ahhhhh im a happy happy pig now. was just closing the windows just now and happened to up into the cloudy sky, trying to spot some stars. then i spotted one. then two. then a whole bunch just appeared! it made me sit down for awhile to admire them. they were exceptionally bright, burning red or blue or white. i didnt expect to see stars especially when it was pretty cloudy and the sky wasnt dark enough. but i guess you must really look closely and look beyond before you can find hope, or possibility, or beauty of anything at all. and nothing is impossible (: Tuesday, May 27, 2008 i hope this is just a bloody coincidence. am i thinking too much, or are you running away everytime you see me? the day was spent slacking, watching 命中注定我愛你! it's a very nice show i think! up till now :D ruan jing tian looks 90percent like mingdao, i totally got mixed up at the beginning! watching the show makes me happy. wah. i haven't laughed in days. feels good (: GREENery is back lah. haha. yayyies. yall can read slightly less ): posts on my blog now. 我會振作起來! thanks for all your concern, i deeply appreciate it. and i've been bhb-ly AA these few days sigh. -slaps myself- if i've been irritating, tell me when i look happy okay, haha. people say absence makes the heart grow fonder. and distance causes people to drift. i agree to both. drives me insane. Monday, May 26, 2008 im reduced to a pile of ridiculously useless, disgusting, self-pitying shit. why am i so pathetic? i hate myself for my own actions, my thoughts, i cant stand myself. why do i care so much, even when i know it will be unrequited? why do i worry so much, when i could do nothing to help? why do i suppress myself when i could stop all these from happening, or at least cushion the impact of your wrongdoings? why do i fear things i never know how it might turn out? why do i chide myself for things i didnt do. why do i even think about nonexistant things. there are so many things happening(or not happening), my brain cannot take it. my attention span has been reduced to around a minute. reading a book would be a waste of time cos i would stare into space after reading a few paragraphs. ah, i sound stupid. well it all depends on me isnt it. it all depends on me to pick myself up, to look at the brighter side of life. but somehow i want to take my time. im not ready to plaster a smile onto my face just yet. i know i am disgusting. i wish i could exercise more self control and discipline. i dont want to become an attention seeking little kid. give me a few more days. i'll try to get out of my comfort wallowing-in-pity zone. someone gave me 50+ virtual hugs yesterday/today. i noticed. thanks, whoever you are. thanks vanessa for being concerned. i appreciate it. alot. and i miss you too. i drew ur name on a piece of paper. then painted over it with black. i hope it helps. how i wish you would read this, and know that i'm talking about you. Saturday, May 24, 2008 im staring at this page with a million words going through my mind. and yet i cant seem to put any of them down. the words seem so far, so distant, so hard to catch. it's jash with a capital A and S. only two other people know what this means but they will never read this anyway, lol. i just hope i will pick myself up soon. distracting myself is not the best idea to forget things. not to mention some stuff never leave my whirling brain at all. this sucks. saw vanessa this morning while going to sch. i felt like crying. for various reasons. i miss xuezhen alot alot too. thanks gregory. ranting was good. at least we are in the same kind of boat. and playing senseless games helped. 北極星的眼淚 說不出的想念 原來我們活在 兩個世界 北極星的眼淚 你哭紅的雙眼 被淋濕的諾言 淹沒在心理面 我抬頭看著愛不見 Thursday, May 22, 2008 times like this make me wonder whether i did something really bad in my past lifetime to earn it. why do i have such a shitty ______. how much more of this will i have to take. hang in there, you, you, you and you. and you. shut up will you? Tuesday, May 20, 2008 i've developed the habit of checking my stats counter everytime i come online and am pleased to find the number jumping a lil faster recently ((: pretty heartening to know that ur blog is not stale and only has one or two readers including urself -_- haha! and jieying, nah im alright! dont worry about me ((: thanks for ur concern though ((: and (: to eliz! and :x to xuezhen :D ahhhh match season is about to be over :'( ahhhhhh. soccer finals tomorrow. two batches of redshirts will be cheering together. excited and afraid at the same time! nah cannot. we can do it! GO SOCCER GUYS! rah. i've thrown my face away this morning during the live ad. the tennis and hockey girls probably want to throw darts at my face now. and the whole school saw my jumping trademark onstage today. oh nawwww. freaking embarrassing! hand on heart: i really cant wait for ALL the finals, not just soc---. jiayou everyone! jiayou myself! Sunday, May 18, 2008 The Scientist - Coldplay Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry You don't know how lovely you are I had to find you Tell you I need you Tell you I've set you apart Tell me your secrets And ask me your questions oh, let's go back to the start Running in circles Comet tails Heads on the science apart Nobody said it was easy It's such a shame for us to part Nobody said it was easy No one ever said it would be this hard Oh take me back to the start I was just guessing At numbers and figures Pulling your puzzles apart Questions of science Science and progress Do not speak as loud as my heart Come tell me you love me Come back and haunt me All in a rush to the start Running in circles Chasing our tails Comin' back as we are Nobody said it was easy Oh, it's such a shame for us to part Nobody said it was easy No one ever said it would be so hard I'm going back to the start... Sunday, May 11, 2008 something's happened if you find urself content just staring at someone's nickname when that person is online. and ultra depression(okay, exaggeration here) when that person goes offline. council outing yesterday. goodness gracious (: we took up almost the whole of three rows of seats in vivo's cinema. around 50 people, that is (: i love. Saturday, May 10, 2008 this is nothing big. i will be strong. im just so let down. i guess the problem lies with me. either that or it's luck all over again. i'm not fated to. cheer up cheer up.  Thursday, May 01, 2008 investiture is over, we've gotten our black tags and the seniors have stepped down. we now have access to the council room, we can scream and sing with the seniors and we're gonna take charge of the whole school. but i feel insecure without the 24th's anymore, i feel sad that they have to take off their tags, and i feel kinda scared that we are not totally accepted by the victorians as the new batch of councillors. of course, it takes time to gain respect and support. i believe someday, we will achieve it. as long as we are committed. as long as we are sincere. 25ths will do it! (: rah, forgot to bring cam = no pictures! but investiture was a blast, and everything zoomed by so fast. joel was damn funny when pinning the councillor badge on me lah aiyoh. ah, i keep relishing every moment of investiture for today... cant concentrate on my bio test stuff(i spent the whole day studying the wrong chapters!!!), and no time to do my mono(which is more impt) and my EoM(even more impt!!!). i ought to go soon, i've lost the motivation to blog in detail about investiture rah ): and oh, i even forgot to mention SPORTS DAY! nah it's okay. as long as they're in my head ((: .jpg) nice pic! collin wanswen me and lennart with the four different house tees plus szeying in pe shirt acting disco. abit fail but cool! :D |
Clovergreen♥ There's more to things than you'll ever know, but I'm beginning to anticipate the unknown. Smile, because you are worth it. Tey Xiao Wei 08021991 NUS FASS Victoria Junior College CHIJ SN Aquarius Enthusiast Extreme 蘇打綠 Sodafan Designer : Chili. x o x o free web counter |